In case you missed the original storm however, here is a link to previous postings about it.
Is This the Best We Can Be?
Since the beginning, I’ve kept myself on track following the tips I’m about to list below.
- Above all do not engage. These people have no interest in being polite or listening to your side of the story. All they want to do is beat you to death with the bloodied stump of their nasty experience.
- Have a “safe group” you can talk to. This could be your street team, your writing/crit/beta buddies. Vent away there, far from the public eye.
- Do not go, constantly revisiting threads on Facebook/Twitter or whereever they are trying to lynch you. It’s like opening the scab on a wound. You will not heal that way.
- Give yourself time. This healing won’t take place overnight, but if you can find other things to focus on, you will. This means, hunker down. Try and stay off Social Media. If you go to ground, they have no target.
- Occupy yourself doing something else. This is both easy and hard. Keep yourself occupied, stay away from the whole mess and they will move on to some other poor unsuspecting person. Draw strength from others who understand and support you during this time. Write if it helps. Draw, cook or whatever other passions you have. Let them soothe you until the time passes. (I cooked and gardened, spent time with friends and family.)
- If you get nasty messages on twitter/facebook, rule of thumb is DELETE. You can apparently delete the messenger app. It doesn't fully turn messenger off, but tell people you won't be checking it. https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-deactivate-a-Messenger-account-after-deactivating-my-Facebook and with twitter you can report messages and tweets as abusive. Make use of this tool. https://help.twitter.com/en/safety-and-security/report-abusive-behavior
Sadly, this is a growing thing in the Author world. I’d like to say that we can tame it. Overcome it, but I don’t see any marked improvement in what’s happening. There is enough hate and vitriol out there that it’s easy to fall into the web, doubt ourselves, our writing and even for some, our lives. (Thankfully this wasn’t me. I’ve got support systems in place, ones honed in my personal life as well as writing.)
We’ve seen a range of people react poorly, but these 5 tips will help.
Honestly? They can’t and won’t fix it.
Only time and maybe a brain transplant for the bullies will, but until that happens, hunker down. Let the tide pass.
You will survive.
And if all else fails, delete the profile that started the whole shebang. Because you’re worth more than any SM profile. Ever.